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The Psychologist & the Classy Bitch by Jacquelyn Smithson Howard & GB

Good afternoon, you must be Jacquelyn/ hey girl what’s happening/ let me say a few words before we start & get in it/

Feel free to express/ digress or confess/ whatever you want to talk about without feeling needs to defend it/

J: I guess you want me to sit here (facing the crowd and pointing to the couch)/ I ain’t layin’ there for him.

J: I don’t need to defend anything. I’m just tired of people thinking I’m such a bitch. So, what’s your “few words?”

A few can be as many words you like until the progression/ Just know that you are booked for a one hour session/

J: Well then, since this is on my dime/ let’s forget/ this frilly shit/ & let me not waste any time/

J: I don’t want you to think I’m bitchy/ when I’m really just tired of being accused of being bitchy/

J: The people I’m supposed to trust won’t let me the fuck alone/

Understood completely Ms Howard/ but does what I or what anyone else thinks about you really matter at the end of the day?/

As for your statement about  who you’re supposed to trust/ who we trust & who we don’t, typically never works out that way/

Let’s say/ for example who we’re “supposed” to trust is our parents by our understanding/
Then that trust is broken & we are betrayed/ or love isn’t displayed/ or those parents who leave us abandoned/

J: That’s just it. They love me, they just think I need to be like them all the fucking time/ shit!
They think the family should always be together/ Live together/ eat together/ play together/ They think that’s better.

Why move me into a 23-room home/ with my own bedroom/ & not let me stay in the damn thing alone/ I’m a straight-A student. I do my homework first/ & they check it/ being teachers/ & all that shit that goes along with that. & I know before they do/ when I short-change myself on my homework/ true/

J: I short-change it on purpose sometimes because they always want me to go higher/ because they know what I’m capable of/

They know what you’re capable of?/ yet I wonder if that’s true for you?
Is bitchy in your nature?/ or is it something that you learned to do?/ to protect yourself from the ones who can hurt your heart?/

J: It is something I do to protect them. It’s been like that since the start/ I don’t like being something I’m not. So I guess I am protecting all of me, cause ‘I’ am all I got.

Betrayal isn’t protection/ wait and let me explain what I mean by that/ anytime you act/ like something you are not/ you betray yourself and everyone involved and that’s straight facts/

Truth is depleted/ love suffers and healing lacks/ because all of your energy is focused on the fear the attack/

So now let ask/ can you honor anyone by betraying yourself?/

Can you worry yourself sick and expect mental health?/

Can you not know your worth, and count blessings and wealth?/

Is love your foundation or is it something else?

J: If I had the answers to your questions/ I would have never booked the session/ and since I ain’t paying overtime/ I guess I have to book another dime.

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author/novelist/poet also known as Graffiti Bleu, loves and lives in northern California. He was born in New York City and received some serious game and [learn more]

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