Inside of This Fantasy

I am torn/

Like a child who’s parents just got divorced/ where the mom as well as the dad both told the child separately/ “I would love for you to live with me”

That same child may have a fantasy/ that the divorce never came to be/

I am torn/

Like an independent artist who loves the game/ but can’t win a single solitary dime for playing/ empty pockets can fill any mind with conflicting thoughts of a starving artist/ thinking con artist/ is the only way to get a deal & eat a meal/

That same artist may have a fantasy/ that the masses will love them for who they are and not who they pretend to be/

I am torn/

Between the fabric of this reality/ the teachings of my spirituality/ and the very definition of fantasy/

Fantasy is defined as: the faculty or activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable/ Impossible or improbable?

Meanwhile the spiritual masters who give me council/ give me earfuls/ of insightful & delightful/ perspectives of infinity/ that tell a different story entirely/

I am torn/

My spirit guides tell me that we are all the creators of our own reality/ and that I should stay tuned in/ tapped in & turned on to this energy/ since it is the same creative energy that creates planets/

Dammit!

To be quite candid/ My connection with source gives me the belief that nothing is impossible or improbable/ and should I connect with a partner who felt the same that together we’d be unstoppable/

So for the 2nd half of this poem/

I am no longer torn/

I am as focused as the sun’s rays through a magnifying glass/ & this focused light I shine on you/ knowing the warmth will return to me/ I invite you to join me inside of this fantasy/

Inside of This Fantasy/ you & I love each other completely/ not just me/ loving the fact that you stay trusting me & fucking me/ & not just you loving what I’ve done for you lately/ Inside of This fantasy/ we both vibrate at the frequency of harmony/

Inside of This Fantasy/ you & I/ never lie/ no matter how sweet the gain is of the short term/ Inside of this Fantasy/ matters of jealousy/ envy/ pride & ego/ we discuss openly/ grow from & learn/

Inside of This Fantasy/ I am not intimidated by your strength/ & you’re not intimidated by my faith/ I see the angels in your eyes & you see God’s light in mine/

Inside of This Fantasy/ we are both very comfortable sexually/ Inside of This Fantasy/ I drink your passion hungrily/ until your love is all over me/ spontaneous & uncontrollably/ until I dominate you physically/ and you drain me of my very essence as I fill the insides of your belly/ & now we have little yous & little mes/ inside the confines of a family/

Inside of This Fantasy/ all that matters is you me & she/ She being source energy/ you being the Queen that’s free/ to be with whomever she chooses but she chose me ~

• GB