“Self improvement is masturbation for self destruction”
 –Tyler Durden Fight Club
     This statement in its proper contexts is about being self absorbed. The majority of us are this way and that sad fact is non-negotiable. However, there are a choice few who are at the opposite side of the rope. These people think outside of themselves and they are the givers. An open heart is easily wounded. Selflessness doesn’t seem to come without a certain degree of naivete. This elements burden the heart like a curse. It would seem that people who give a lot of themselves constantly get hurt. Why is that? I have a theory. I will call this theory “The curse of the giver”. It is a shame but it is true. All of you out there who are reading this have shared this moment. That moment in time where we question our own hearts. The moment where we ask “did we do too much?” In this selfish world we live in the question itself is a paradox. Too much huh, let’ dig deeper. It is really not about how much you give, it is the transposition of that giving. People who give (Especially artist that spill their souls for public display) only do so because they transpose that gift onto other people. The perception of one who gives is such that they can’t comprehend why someone would not reciprocate that energy. However, the recipients of these “gifts” have a different perspective on this matter. I would like to call this perception the “Aunt Jemima Syndrome”. You laugh? Let’s examine it. Aunt Jemima, the selfless giver in perfect personification. She will smile and make breakfast with not a thought of herself. Have you ever actually seen her eat? She obviously is not concerned with her own appearance. Raggedy maid’s clothing, hair in a scarf excetera. (Even though corporate marketers tried to “sexy” her up in the late 90’s)  To top it all off, she would pour syrup over the pancakes for them as if they could not do it themselves. Poetic is it not? To pour your sweetness over something you created with a smile. To the family that’s eating they think she is happy. They think she enjoys giving and uses that at an excuse to not give back. Fact is she does enjoy giving. However that does not mean that she would not enjoy if someone gave her the day off, cooked her a damn omelet, and then paid for a Mani/Pedi! (For starters) When I give I do not do it for fame, money, attention or accolades. I give because healing is the gift that begets the heart of the giver. My one request is to not take anyone who makes you feel good in any way what so ever for granted. For one day those “gifts” may be bestowed upon some else who appreciates them.

Side Note: I wrote this as a blog in 2005 and I always love taking glimpses back at where my head was back then. My writing style has since changed but the development in the opening of this piece is classic me from my first book (An Emotional Affair) style… Shameless #BookPlug You fine folks have a good night…

Just my thoughts.