beautiful-deathA good friend of mine came to me in confidence and told me that he was sad to see me because he had a dream that I had died.

He said the dream was very vivid and that the dream felt very real; also he said that he even went to my wake in the confines of the dream and that he had wept. He was hesitant to tell me about the dream for fear of how I might feel. Searching my gut feeling… I was not upset at all. I admired his courage in at least telling me. I have my own ideas about why he had the dream and my interpretation of it; but before I get into what the dream means, I’m going to tell you about my thoughts on a “beautiful death” and what it used to be. In my poem “21 Questions” I stated that my idea of a beautiful death was being a gray old man in the center of my bed surrounded by my children and my children’s children, passing away in my sleep with no pain and no regret. I know now that there is a death more beautiful than that.

For me to explain the journey of spiritual enlightenment that I have been experiencing over the past week would take too much time that we don’t have. I will say that everything I thought about a beautiful death has changed and my interpretation of my friends dream was actually that he witnessed my spiritual death that’s right spiritual death.

The death of who I used to be in the spiritual realm. I am extremely comfortable with that because my spirit in its previous state, was beating its head (metaphorically)against a spiritual wall. I based a lot of my actions on past experiences, which meant that my actions were more like reactions to something that did not exist. A past, an idea, a thought of what I thought should be. Actions (or reactions in this case) based in fear, with the notion that if you do something slightly differently, you will not experience the pain you once experienced.

A beautiful death to me now is a spiritual death. When you past that threshold of no longer concerning yourselves with matters of the petty, matters that don’t matter and any thought process that is it routed in love… So yes I died… and I am proud to say that I did for I am reborn anew. In 24 hours I will be on a plane to Salerno Italy I do not know what awaits me there but it is no coincidence that I reached this peaceful place before I take one of the most important trips of my creative manifesto. There will be a video blog right here called the “What the Fuck Happened” series. I will be in Italy for 10 days… every 48 hours, I will be doing a different segment of what the fuck happened from a different location filming my interpretation of what the fuck is wrong with certain elements of the culture (Writing, poetry, literature, publishing and so forth) and what I believe we need to do to fix it.

Until next time folks…

Love light and more love…