We have officially reached the arch of this story/

The crossroad/ the fork in the road/ the middle of this allegory/

Guts and glory I use as metaphors for the 2 paths laid before me/

Gut is a metaphor I gave the darkness/

Leaving me no choice but to give God the glory/

Praise be on to you for everything that I overcame/

Being young in my faith I had not yet learned how to deal with the pain/

Seems like/ when I look up for the light/ my eyes burn from the sting of the rain/

However/ no matter the weather/ my father is never/ at home/ yet my mother bares his name/

and when he does come home/ he’s typically/ stumbling/ fumbling/ and mumbling/ drunk as a skunk/

Even on those rare occasions he’s sober and present/ I feel like I’m not the son that he wants/

I’m bringing home A’s and B’s/ and so beyond with my ABC’s/ yet still my Father’s not acknowledging me/

actually/ if you talk about academics my father’s face looks like he’s bored/

I feel ignored/ apparently there’s no reward/

for doing your best/ my only break from that stress/

is occasionally feeling blessed/

cause all my friends in class never met their dad/

now ain’t that sad/

Grimy/ gritty and shitty/ fortunately/ for me/ at the time/ my whole family lived in New York City/

so, my mother’s brothers raised me by committee/

and that was good for a time/ until the decline/ of the strong black/ revolutionary/ critical mind/

Thank you Ronald Regan and the CIA/

For all the drugs you put into the ghetto at night/ Then saying “crack is whack” by day/

I can go on and on/ but this verse was not created to blame white people for black problems/

This verse was crafted to take an abstract look at God’s plan for me/ examine its mystery/ dissect it lyrically/ & hopefully/ testimony can solve em/

But/ before I testify/

I mean really testify/

I will share my understanding of God so you can see this through my eyes/

I will do this scientifically/ & certainly quite specifically/

to not say what God should be to you/ but instead who she is to me/

First/ let us assume that, that which we call “God” is actually perfect/

Not just perfect when good days hit/ or perfect when we’re in the pulpit/

But actually perfect/ even when we’re going through the bullshit/

Now let’s assume that God is love/ period/ meaning that God is the manifestation of love itself/ pure and uncut/ the source of every good feeling, bright light & idea/ yeah/ so omnipotent she makes the greatest scientific minds feel dumb/ because every scientist is aware of consciousness/ but not one/ can tell you where it comes from/

So these assumptions that God is perfect & God is love/ leave our egos & spirits in the midst of a scrimmage/

Confused by the notion that we were created in God’s image/

We look at ourselves as far from perfect/

As well as many look at the story of Jesus & believe that on some level it was true/ but few/ would actually do/ what Jesus would do/

So at first this line of thinking didn’t work/ we rarely perceive life to be perfect & most believe that love hurts/ so I realized that train of thought had to become new/

Then I figured that the struggle in life might be hard/

Because what we’ve been worshiping is a lesser form of God/

Who is less omnipotent & instead like me & you/

Now let’s assume we’ve got God twisted/

She’s not jealous/ she’s not vengeful/

She’s not a “he” in case you missed it/

So if we assume all of that/ then we would have to find a reason for human suffering to make all of those assumptions true/

One doesn’t have to look any further than the definition of virtue/

To be good/ & only good/ for goodness’s sake couldn’t be all there is/ even though ask some & that’s the preference/

God was already good/ love was already good/ but how can we measure good/ or appreciate good/ without a point of reference?/

Good by itself without any flip side/ or down side leaves you warm and fuzzy on  the inside/ as well as fuzzy on the outside/

sort of like a rabbit/

but there is nothing virtuous about a rabbit/

they’re harmless/

they’re helpless/

in the game of life they often get beaten/

they often get eaten/

By the hunters of the world/

some refer to them as “Monsters”/

but is Evil their sponsor?/

or is hunger?/

how about the need to survive & stay alive?/

Necessary/ very/ virtuous?/ not really/

So what is our purpose for suffering?/ what is God’s great divine plan when it comes to pain?/

Let’s go back to the assumption/

If we assume God is perfect/ & God is the manifestation of love itself then darkness has got to have a function/

and the function is balance/ & that has to be true/ because the balance between the dark & the light is where lies the virtue/

we all start off helpless/ naive/ defenseless/ like the rabbit/

then we get eaten by life’s monsters/ taken advantage of/ used/ abused/ and we start getting in the habit/

of thinking that love is not the answer/ ironically asking love the question/ “Oh why God why?”/ giving darkness a try/ effectively becoming what we hate/ the hunter/ the monster/ sounds about right/

& the Lord said “Let there be light”

Follow/

If we all became monsters/ but learned how to control our dark feelings/ when we find revenge appealing/ we are virtuous/

when we vibrate high among those who vibrate low/ & show the lost which way to go/ we are virtuous/

Doing what Jesus would do/

Going into the darkest part of our selves/

saying “Let there be light” & transforming into something else/

Something higher/

something greater/

But we will discuss being greater/ later/ there’s a few other places we should go/

First I will tell you the story of my darkest hour/ & how the vision of my darkness was so vivid/

it moved my spirit/

& made me a superhero ~