We have officially reached the arch of this story/
The crossroad/ the fork in the road/ the middle of this allegory/
Guts and glory I use as metaphors for the 2 paths laid before me/
Gut is a metaphor I gave the darkness/
Leaving me no choice but to give God the glory/
Praise be on to you for everything that I overcame/
Being young in my faith I had not yet learned how to deal with the pain/
Seems like/ when I look up for the light/ my eyes burn from the sting of the rain/
However/ no matter the weather/ my father is never/ at home/ yet my mother bares his name/
and when he does come home/ he’s typically/ stumbling/ fumbling/ and mumbling/ drunk as a skunk/
Even on those rare occasions he’s sober and present/ I feel like I’m not the son that he wants/
I’m bringing home A’s and B’s/ and so beyond with my ABC’s/ yet still my Father’s not acknowledging me/
actually/ if you talk about academics my father’s face looks like he’s bored/
I feel ignored/ apparently there’s no reward/
for doing your best/ my only break from that stress/
is occasionally feeling blessed/
cause all my friends in class never met their dad/
now ain’t that sad/
Grimy/ gritty and shitty/ fortunately/ for me/ at the time/ my whole family lived in New York City/
so, my mother’s brothers raised me by committee/
and that was good for a time/ until the decline/ of the strong black/ revolutionary/ critical mind/
Thank you Ronald Regan and the CIA/
For all the drugs you put into the ghetto at night/ Then saying “crack is whack” by day/
I can go on and on/ but this verse was not created to blame white people for black problems/
This verse was crafted to take an abstract look at God’s plan for me/ examine its mystery/ dissect it lyrically/ & hopefully/ testimony can solve em/
But/ before I testify/
I mean really testify/
I will share my understanding of God so you can see this through my eyes/
I will do this scientifically/ & certainly quite specifically/
to not say what God should be to you/ but instead who she is to me/
First/ let us assume that, that which we call “God” is actually perfect/
Not just perfect when good days hit/ or perfect when we’re in the pulpit/
But actually perfect/ even when we’re going through the bullshit/
Now let’s assume that God is love/ period/ meaning that God is the manifestation of love itself/ pure and uncut/ the source of every good feeling, bright light & idea/ yeah/ so omnipotent she makes the greatest scientific minds feel dumb/ because every scientist is aware of consciousness/ but not one/ can tell you where it comes from/
So these assumptions that God is perfect & God is love/ leave our egos & spirits in the midst of a scrimmage/
Confused by the notion that we were created in God’s image/
We look at ourselves as far from perfect/
As well as many look at the story of Jesus & believe that on some level it was true/ but few/ would actually do/ what Jesus would do/
So at first this line of thinking didn’t work/ we rarely perceive life to be perfect & most believe that love hurts/ so I realized that train of thought had to become new/
Then I figured that the struggle in life might be hard/
Because what we’ve been worshiping is a lesser form of God/
Who is less omnipotent & instead like me & you/
Now let’s assume we’ve got God twisted/
She’s not jealous/ she’s not vengeful/
She’s not a “he” in case you missed it/
So if we assume all of that/ then we would have to find a reason for human suffering to make all of those assumptions true/
One doesn’t have to look any further than the definition of virtue/
To be good/ & only good/ for goodness’s sake couldn’t be all there is/ even though ask some & that’s the preference/
God was already good/ love was already good/ but how can we measure good/ or appreciate good/ without a point of reference?/
Good by itself without any flip side/ or down side leaves you warm and fuzzy on the inside/ as well as fuzzy on the outside/
sort of like a rabbit/
but there is nothing virtuous about a rabbit/
they’re harmless/
they’re helpless/
in the game of life they often get beaten/
they often get eaten/
By the hunters of the world/
some refer to them as “Monsters”/
but is Evil their sponsor?/
or is hunger?/
how about the need to survive & stay alive?/
Necessary/ very/ virtuous?/ not really/
So what is our purpose for suffering?/ what is God’s great divine plan when it comes to pain?/
Let’s go back to the assumption/
If we assume God is perfect/ & God is the manifestation of love itself then darkness has got to have a function/
and the function is balance/ & that has to be true/ because the balance between the dark & the light is where lies the virtue/
we all start off helpless/ naive/ defenseless/ like the rabbit/
then we get eaten by life’s monsters/ taken advantage of/ used/ abused/ and we start getting in the habit/
of thinking that love is not the answer/ ironically asking love the question/ “Oh why God why?”/ giving darkness a try/ effectively becoming what we hate/ the hunter/ the monster/ sounds about right/
& the Lord said “Let there be light”
Follow/
If we all became monsters/ but learned how to control our dark feelings/ when we find revenge appealing/ we are virtuous/
when we vibrate high among those who vibrate low/ & show the lost which way to go/ we are virtuous/
Doing what Jesus would do/
Going into the darkest part of our selves/
saying “Let there be light” & transforming into something else/
Something higher/
something greater/
But we will discuss being greater/ later/ there’s a few other places we should go/
First I will tell you the story of my darkest hour/ & how the vision of my darkness was so vivid/
it moved my spirit/
& made me a superhero ~
2 Responses
Fire as fuck!!! Damn, your pen is flaming fierce!!!
Thank you kindly 🙂