As the ice came down and flame found its stride in

the X-mas chimney, I laid ink in cursive to the fallen

white. Next level I embrace you in the company of

an old friend. I travel lifeless through the cosmic

energy of my rival’s survival. I have looked into

despairs pit gazing at the whole in my punctured

heart. I stare at the abyss and see the bottom of a

waste basket filled with crumpled paper. Knowledge

peeks through the folds revealing life lessons. I

learned that inspiration can uninspire. I learned

better flow when I stopped apologizing. I learned

that there is no point in housing a soul without a

voice. I’ve felt the warmth of humility and the icy

fingers of be trail. Lost old friends and gained new

ones. I’ve learned how to shut the fuck up and listen,

finally. I found irony in the peers that taught me fear

in naive youth, only to make me feared by the fearful.

I learned to lust for chocolate treats and brandy,

heating my lungs in spirit and flesh. I learned the

sadness of a nigger’s definition then refused to

participate. I learned that I only feel lonely when I

entertain hate at the party of joy. I became

reacquainted with the bottom of my reflection and

saw growth inside silver whiskers. I learned evolution

was imminent. I learned that the greenest students

make the best teachers. I learned the karma of

passive aggression as well as the importance of a

secret war. I’ve learned to be agreeably disagreeable. I

have learned the persistence of evil thoughts who

travel through the fibers of your pillow case. The

seduction of sugar when one sails solo. I’ve learned

the dance of spirits as they told tales of what really


I learned to love again.